Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm both gender and math confused
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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