I think i sorta joined a cult last night
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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