What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
