She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize