its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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