It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
