Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You don't make any sense
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