We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
