It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
