U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
