i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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