Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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