Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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