Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
