Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
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