No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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