You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize