thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
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