Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize