No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
