Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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