I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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