Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize