Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
