The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
