the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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