hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize