I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
