THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We are two peas in an std pod
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize