benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
