did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
