girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
