Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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