Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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