Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
