Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
