I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
