I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize