I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She's the barista slut.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
