He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize