Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
why is half of my head shaved?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
