Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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