Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I can text with my tongue
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
