so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
