He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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