ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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