ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
