The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
