I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
