At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
When are your genitals available?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
