true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize