no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
