he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
