told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
