So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
