Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash

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(253): View more from Washington

The pine trees are waving at me.

(907): View more from Alaska

Put the pipe down honey.

(253): View more from Washington

Hi trees.

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(816): View more from Missouri

And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.

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(740): View more from Ohio

besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?

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(914): View more from New York

I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...

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(269): View more from Michigan

YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK

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(917): View more from New York City

Drinking wine while working. Yay.

(207): View more from Maine

Just had sex at the YMCA.

(917): View more from New York City

We are so productive today.

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