I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
