i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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