mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
