Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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