Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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