i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
sex in a hospital.. check
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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