so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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