He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
