At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
