i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
