Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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