i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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