matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
