She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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