Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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